How to Save a Marriage


In the early years of my marriage, my husband and I would often attend marriage enrichment seminars. Sometimes we gleaned life-changing information, and sometimes we merely received nuggets that we stored away for future use. At one such event, there was a story shared that has stuck with me, and I tend to draw from it regularly.

Without divulging sensitive and private information, the Christian therapist hosting the event shared a story of a wife considering divorce. The wife felt ignored and ill-treated. She was angry and finished. The therapist, with an ulterior motive, encouraged her to stay with her husband for a while longer and thoroughly serve him before she left. The idea was to make the husband miss her when she was gone and regret the poor treatment. She agreed to the charade.

The therapist ran into the wife several months later and asked if she had been successful at leaving her husband. She was bothered that he would think such a thing because her husband was a wonderful man and they now had a sensational marriage.

I don’t recall if this is a true story or if the therapist later communicated that the story was fabricated. What I do know is that I caught the message; “Love is patient, love is kind…it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor 13: 4,5). I like what R. J Palacio said in Wonder, “If we have to choose between being right and being kind, choose kind.” I am a fiery and feisty woman, and I often have to guard against seeking my own. I’m just being real.

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